Did you bring the next chapters?’ ‘Yes, but I’m not convinced this is a good idea for you.’ ‘It’s fine, it gives me something to do, to focus on. I’m not doing much teaching so this keeps my mind alive. You really are a good writer.’ As he handed the flash drive to her he said, ‘Thank you, it’s important to me that you like my work.’ ‘Why is that?’ ‘Because you’re very important to me.’ ‘I’m glad. I guess it would have been okay to have Nina along after all, we’re handling this just fine. It’s still hard to look at you and not hear those women talking dirty. That it’s you that wrote all of that. It’s like…I know this sounds silly, but it’s like I have a window into your very private and intimate world. Like I was standing there as you wrote those words. It’s…I give up, I can’t come up with the right words.’ ‘You’re doing just fine.’ ‘Want to know one of my very intimate secrets?’ He was smiling and his eyes were dancing as she studied him. She couldn’t help but return the smile, but. He was turning me in. It was all over. When I woke up I couldn't shake the dream. While I showered I had visions of my story going out over the local news. My mother's shame. My grandmother's horror. At odd moments I groaned audibly. This was the kind of shit you couldn't even take to a ther****t. I felt so filthy, so awful. And yet still I had to walk Monty every day, watch him sashay ahead of me, his head erect, nose twitching in the air, his balls swaying between his thighs. I threw myself into my work and went back to Monty's later and later every night. Three weeks went by and I started to take heart – just one week left. People at work were telling me I didn't look so good. Well, no one was that blunt, but I got a lot of “are you feeling okay?” Meanwhile my brain chanted, one week, one week, one week. Then I got a call.“Jillian? It's Mark. Listen, this research of ours is getting to be more than we bargained for. Is there any way you could stay with Monty a little longer?” My.
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